Whelp. Still employed

And my arsenal of stories has grown.

In fact one of the MDs I work with has been writing books and let me read them. I'm honored and inspired. Not to become an OB as much as to write about my experiences. I know, Mom and Dad that you've told me FOREVER that I should write. I just might. I'd start online here but well.. I still hesitate about the whole patient privacy thing. In fact I heard about a patient suing a dr for writing a story that was about her even without any identifying information.

To which I ask...... if there wasn't any identifying information:
a. how did you know it was you
b. why did the dr admit it was you when you said it was you?
c. why did the Dr use his (or her, but I think it was a his) real name in authoring the book?

Because as I see it, if I write a book under an assumed name in a fictitious town with identifying information changed about my identifying information lacking patient there wouldn't be a problem, right?  Because if SuzyQ patient in Podunk imaginary town Georgia written by fictional person who has never lived in Georgia is going to be hard to prove by Juanita in Southern CA that the story is about her. Right?

However... Since this blog wouldn't take a rocket scientist to figure out where I was, who I was and where I work... I'll just maintain OPSEC or whatever that stupid acronmym is the military uses for internet silence on all things important. So nothing to read here, move along now.

In other worlds, the kids have been surviving the standardized test month of school. And when the rest of the testing is done it's pretty much party til the end of the school year as far as the kids (and parents) are concerned. Of course we have one teacher this year who I'm pretty sure will be still assigning and grading homework on the second to last day of school, but I'm really hoping the aliens will return the human and take the robot they left in her place back to space. oh dear. I just wrote that. whelp... It's not a patient and violating patient confidentialty and I'd say that all identifying informaiton is removed, but who am I kidding? I only have 1 kid who has a teacher who could possibly be mistaken for robot barbie teacher. So, yes, Miss S, I am talking about you. Can you please check your back and turn the switch back to "human" from "busy homework monseter" thanks. 

Kayla's egg hatching project went well, although day 3 into the chicks being in the room her teacher decided the smell was just too much so we took them home. They live under an open window right now til they get moved out to the shed. Although in her class we promised the kids they could take one home if their parents approved. So we might not have too many to keep. Although we're going to try to keep the recessive gene ones if possible.

And since things went so well with Kayla's class, Sonia's class now has the full incubator in her room. This of course is genius because a.) we're not paying the electric bill b.) the kids all get to see life and c.) the teachers think we're crazy but a little cool. Probably alot crazy. But we have at least a little coolness factor. In fact all I need to do is walk around school campus with a cat carrier or hampster case full of quail and I'm the pied piper of elementary school. I bet if I showed up with a bus I could take a few dozen kids with me. Of course I would also get arrested. So I'm rethinking that plan. That and the fact that it's darn near impossible for me to manuver the excursion around the parking lot at school I could imagine what an actual yellow bus might be like.

As it is I got myself stuck in the parking garage at work today. Well, not REALLY stuck but just couldn't get it into one parking space. 2 and 1/2 the drive area, yes. Parking garages in Southern CA are not meant for anything larger than a Camry. Seriously. But if it wasn't so crowded here, we wouldn't need parking garages. That is my biggest annoyance with living here- sharing it with something like 6 million people. (documented, the actual number is higher than it appears) Working in the spanish speaking community clinic has tilted my perspective so it might not be 19 million undocumented, but it certainly feels that way somedays.

Larry and I are back to 2 cars, one of them being the truck. So which ever of us is driving the least is the one who drives the truck. Most days that would be me. This is because Larry's car has decided it's had enough of this reliable running thing and had enjoyed not 1, not 2 but now 3 visits to a mechanic this month. When Larry was gone to the field (military speak for he went camping in one of the desert locations with a bunch of Marines to play war or practice shooting stuff like at war) he took my car so I could take his ot the mechanic. We're lucky enough to live close to the bus line so droping a car of and taking the bus home isn't a huge issue. Time consuming, sure, but it does make you appreciate having your own reliable transportation. JM of course thinks it's a blast to take the train and bus home. So after dropping his car off I'd had the truck to drive last week and since it decided it missed it's good buddies there it threw a fit and a hose and is back there again.

We offered to lend a car to friends moving overseas who had to have their car shipped, so we were planning on being down to 2 cars anyway, but thankfully our friends haven't needed it but we're still practicing. It wouldn't be a problem at all if I wasn't working. It's this working stuff that kills me. Well.. Actually it's not even the working as much as it is the driving JM to his babysitter on the way to work. So next yr it'd be fine to walk the kids to school and the bus to work. I really love being close enough to use public transit. Just enough country to have chickens and just enough suburbs to be on a bus line. Best of both worlds. And no winter to boot. What's not to love?!

Speaking of chickens. Chicks are now off the heat and I'm faced with the fact athat we might have too many chickens. Like 4x the Official San diego city limits, although being county it's a bit harder to interpret the actual regulations and who might enforce what. the 2 we hatched are just the funniest looking things ever (go look on facebook) but we have a sinking suspecion that one might be a rooster, so sadly we might be saying goodbye sooner than later.

Still no goat, dog or outdoor cat. Or cow or horse. Although Sonia's birthday present horse back riding lesson is Friday, so we'll see. I hear horse manure is great for gardens.

MUST. NOT. DO, IT

Oh but I want to write about work stuff. Of course I can't share 99% of the stuff I want to narrate about. Hippa and all that.

However. I can share a few bits of helpful advice for those who work in the medical field.

1. If a 80 year old woman calls up saying she's having terrible stomach pains like labor pains she does not need to be seen by the  obstetrics clinic.  Shy of Abraham and Sarah I'm pretty sure she's not actually pregnant. Especially when she's had a hysterectomy.

2.  Similarly if someone calls up saying they passed out, hit their head and are bleeding and want to schedule their pap while they're on the phone with the clinic, the head injury is the more pressing issue. Really.
 
3.   Universally to do a pap smear, the patient cannot remain fully clothed. At least not from the waist down. 

4. When talking to patients who get care across the border, it's helpful to include details such as "they had surgery last week" And what said surgery was. Especially major surgery. 

5. The "I had a rash last month and what to know what it was" visit -  It's kinda hard to reverse time to see said rash, especially when the only description is "it was itchy" was it pink or red? no, it was itchy. Was it bumpy? no it was itchy.  When you looked at your skin, could you see anything? no it was only itchy. How long did you have it? I dunno, a day? Did it go away? yes. Has it ever come back? no.
They why are you here, again?
Dear schedulers- we can't travel in time, please don't give apts to evaluate resolved problems. It confuses those of us who think there is actually something to see or fix. And it's kinda hard to code for a "there could have been something but now it's gone" diagnosis. I haven't found the ICD9 code for that one, yet.

6. "El Aire" and it's sister "inflammada" -  it's the Pandora box that in involved with many ailments. There is no xray, test or drug you can use to rid one of these demons. In fact I'm thinking of marketing holy water capsules for it.  Actually Holy Water/Miralax capsules might do the trick???




To be continued..............