MUST. NOT. DO, IT

Oh but I want to write about work stuff. Of course I can't share 99% of the stuff I want to narrate about. Hippa and all that.

However. I can share a few bits of helpful advice for those who work in the medical field.

1. If a 80 year old woman calls up saying she's having terrible stomach pains like labor pains she does not need to be seen by the  obstetrics clinic.  Shy of Abraham and Sarah I'm pretty sure she's not actually pregnant. Especially when she's had a hysterectomy.

2.  Similarly if someone calls up saying they passed out, hit their head and are bleeding and want to schedule their pap while they're on the phone with the clinic, the head injury is the more pressing issue. Really.
 
3.   Universally to do a pap smear, the patient cannot remain fully clothed. At least not from the waist down. 

4. When talking to patients who get care across the border, it's helpful to include details such as "they had surgery last week" And what said surgery was. Especially major surgery. 

5. The "I had a rash last month and what to know what it was" visit -  It's kinda hard to reverse time to see said rash, especially when the only description is "it was itchy" was it pink or red? no, it was itchy. Was it bumpy? no it was itchy.  When you looked at your skin, could you see anything? no it was only itchy. How long did you have it? I dunno, a day? Did it go away? yes. Has it ever come back? no.
They why are you here, again?
Dear schedulers- we can't travel in time, please don't give apts to evaluate resolved problems. It confuses those of us who think there is actually something to see or fix. And it's kinda hard to code for a "there could have been something but now it's gone" diagnosis. I haven't found the ICD9 code for that one, yet.

6. "El Aire" and it's sister "inflammada" -  it's the Pandora box that in involved with many ailments. There is no xray, test or drug you can use to rid one of these demons. In fact I'm thinking of marketing holy water capsules for it.  Actually Holy Water/Miralax capsules might do the trick???




To be continued..............