Sarcasm, the gift that keeps giving

My window from yesterday's post was still up and I looked and it looks like the second video is wrong. It's supposed to be dominic the donkey, not Kayla. Anyway, if you see Kayla, sorry. I was trying to share Dominic.

And I realized this week that I probably should work on being a little less sarcastic. I know I write pretty sarcastically here, but I think I might want to rethink my out loud sarcasm. Mostly because it's lost on my kids. Or maybe not and things will continue as they go now.

But this week, for the 18th million time we had the "what do you want to be called when you go to school" conversation with JM. I'm kinda at the point where I'm ready for him to be a normal name like Jon or Jonathan or even Jack if you really want to stretch it. JonMichael is a mouthful and he was unwilling to learn how to write it. And writing and reading your own name is kindergarten 101. And I have a lifetime of going by a name other than what is on my birth certificate and I kinda wanted him to have a more normal experience than that.

But anyway.. he's still insisting on JonMichael. And this week in true stubborn mule fashion that all my kids exhibit, he proved he could write his whole name or at least "JoNMicHAEl" or if you put the J and N backwards and did an odd mix of capital and lower case letters.

And he showed me and said "can I get a present for writing my name?"

And I said 'sure'
I probably should have thought about my reply before I gave it.

So he returns with his name written twice and said "can I have two presents? can I have more than Sonia and Joey? (because EVERYTHING here is about competition, apparently)"

I try ignoring the request.

He comes back with his name written 4 times.

I start with trying to explain he's not going to get a present for everytime he writes his name, he can have a gumball for the effort of the first time and he says...

"Can I have my presents? can you get right on that?"

oh. my.

Yeah, I think I may have used that line one too many times.

Because I said "sure, I'll get right on that" and he skips away announcing to his siblings that he's getting more presents than them and I'm getting right on it.

(groan)

At least they didn't all come running in complaining that he's getting more than them, which is the usual chain of events. They might have had a clue it wasn't true. As if I'd ever admit to getting one child more than another. I love them all the same. In different ways. And not everyone's love language is gifts. Although when one of them sees gifts being given suddenly their love language is also gifts because.. it's all about the competition.

I wish they were competitive for learning their multiplication tables. That might be helpful. This stupid competitive over anything not important (front seat, which plate/fork/knife/cup at dinner, longest bath, longest computer time, looking out someone else's car window..) has got to end. Seriously. Before I tear out all my hair. Although I hear bald can be beautiful.