More clarity today

So I'm sitting here thinking "gee, my last 2 attempts at going back to work failed miserably, maybe this isn't for me..."

But I realize job a (remember the refugee clinic one) was a nightmare and they hired me without my license and fired me for not having it quick enough. OK. not fired. Told to come back when I had my license, expect in those 2?3?4? weeks it took the staff I was working for was all fired also. So, I called my former boss and said I was ready and he said he was no longer there.

And job b was similar. I have my license, but I don't have the pesky number to prescribe in CA. And it has physician supervision requirements, and the whole point of the job was that the physician wasn't going to be there, thus.. no supervision. That and I really was awkward there. Really awkward. The more she gave me "style pointers" the more inadequate I felt until I just hit the point where you forget how to speak. Well, practically. I do have the ability to say what ever comes to mind mouth so something came out, but not smooth or polished or what she was looking for.. So "it just isn't working out"

Man, rejected twice. I think this calls for chocolate.

So I'm still mulling going back to work over and waiting for the neon sign from above to tell me what I'm supposed to be doing. So far I haven't gotten the neon sign, but I'd settle for an audible whisper.

And if I'm not going back to work, I need to re-take my board exam. How hard can that be...?? stay tuned.